Sunday, April 5, 2009

letting go

How do you let go? I have no doubt how much my mom loved me, she told me all the time. I told her that I loved her but not how much. I didn't approve of some of the things she did and was very vocal about it. I treated her as a child more than as a mother. Now that she's gone I'm stuck here wishing I had treated her better. I can only wonder if she really knew how much I loved her. I'm just really at a weird place right now. Life is moving along full speed ahead and I'm at a much lower pace. I know that I'll be okay and able to move along. It just sucks right now.

2 comments:

My Life said...

{{{AMY}}}

My mother died unexpectedly, too, and we were just beginning to get our relationship back on track when she died. I don't ever think I will 'let go' of those feelings of the things that should have taken place, but I do know my mother loved me.

Your mother loved you, too. You know, as a mom, how you will love your children no matter what. That has to be true for all moms, no matter what the relationship may be with her children--she will love them unconditionally until the day she dies.

It takes time, sweetie. You will get to the place where you won't be thinking about these things as often, but remember the good memories. :)

I love you!

Tonya Cotton :o) said...

Amy, don't you worry about that. When we get to Heaven we will know SO much! The answers to questions we always wanted the answers to, we'll "get" things we didn't understand, etc. Your mom WILL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVED & CARED FOR her !!! She will know !! That's why they say we left here on this Earth are the ones who suffer. Because they are so happy, pain free, and "all knowing and understanding", if you will. Much love to you girl !! SHE KNOWS !!