2008, the year in review

I'm so glad that 2008 is almost over, I say bring on 2009. This year has been full of sorrow, pain and good times. Matt and I celebrated our 10th anniversary in February with new tattoo's. I love my little lady bug and I can't wait to get another one. Luke and I had our birthday's in March, I'm now 35 and Luke is 8. We took a Disney vacation the first of April and it was awesome. I hadn't been to Disney since I was 3!! We spent two nights on property and spent a day at Disney and a day at Epcot. We bought the 4 day passes, and saved the other two days for later. I was also able to attend Fashion Fund's the Cure to raise funds for research to cure childhood cancer. Our little princess turned four in April, and WOW is she growing up fast. She is also a reminder to us of all the children around the World suffering from cancer, hunger, disease and abuse. We are dedicated to helping these children.


Savannah is still taking tap/ballet once a week, and she loves it. She had her first recital in June and her class did wonderful. All of the dad's were included in their routine. It was so sweet. In May I was stung by a stingray on my right foot. Talk about so serious pain!! The last week of June we headed out to my mother-in-laws time share on the beach. We were there for the forth of July and had an spectacular view from the beach of local fireworks. It truly was a magical week as a family. I know that Matt and I will always remember this week.


I took a trip by myself to Indiana for a few days in July to visit my grandma. It was thought that she had bone cancer in her shoulder and, her time here on Earth was limited. While I was in town we found out that it was her breast cancer that was back and in her shoulder and spine. She was in so much pain. It was so awful seeing her like that. After I came home she lost all feeling in her legs and was admitted to the hospital. She went to radiation everyday to help with the pain. I got the dreaded phone call on August 10th that grandma had passed. My mom and brother were with her at the hospital; so she wasn't alone. Her death was the hardest thing that I've ever dealt with. She was so much more than a grandma, she was my best friend, and she was always there for me. I have a huge piece of my heart that went with grandma, and I have a huge piece of her heart that she left with me.


Savannah and I had our first girl's weekend at Disney World in early September. We spent a day at Disney meeting the Princess' and having a blast. We spent the night in a hotel and attended Disney on Ice the next day. We had so much and I can't wait until we have more girl time. Matt took the boy's to Disney's Hollywood Studio's for a guy day. They had a blast riding rides because Luke is now tall enough to ride everything!! My boy's have no fear when it comes to roller coaster's, they LOVE it. Austin turned 12 in September! It's hard to believe that he will be a teenager next year...scary!! Matt and I went to a Maroon 5 & Counting Crow's concert in early October. Everyone likes to make fun of me for liking Maroon 5 but that doesn't stop me. They are my favorite band forever!! November was busy with school and appointments. We stayed home for Thanksgiving and I cooked everything for the first time. It was awesome.


I received another dreaded phone call on December 7th from my brother....our mom was dead. She was only 55 and her death was such a surprise. She was home at the time in her bed. We believe that she accidentally overdosed on her meds. It doesn't really matter how she died, I still miss her the same. We loaded up the mini-van and headed to Anderson, Indiana to make arrangements. We were in town for almost a week. It was so surreal, and still is. I though that losing grandma was bad, but it's a walk in the park compared to losing my mom. I just can't get it in my head that she's gone. We got a call while we in Anderson that our beloved dog, Pepperoni was dragging his hind legs and needed to go to the vet. It was decided that he should be put down ASAP. So we didn't get to say goodbye to him, and that really sucks. I'm glad that we didn't see him suffer though.

Matt will turn 35 tomorrow and we will welcome a New Year very soon. I think the kids had a good year, we spent alot of time having fun together. We also have some really great friend's that have helped get us through all the rough time's. When Julie and John heard that my mom had died they were at our doorstep with lots of love, food and. I am so grateful for them, they always seem to know what we need. We have so much fun together and our kids love them to pieces. I was also able to reconnects with some old friends in Indiana. The Cram's have been amazing letting me stay with them in July and in December with the whole family. They made sure we had some fun while in town, that is through the tears.

The highlight of every trip up north is getting to spend time with my cousin/BFF LeiAnne and her family. We have seven kids together and they all love each other so much. I am really missing Lei, she knows me better than almost anyone.

Well that's 2008 in a nutshell. We had some really great game nights and some really good sporting events too. Our days are filled with normal busy stuff with the kids. Luke is being fit for hearing aides on Monday. His hearing has continued to worsen so it's time for some help. He's excited to finally be able to hear soon.
I would like to wish you all a wonderful New Year. But most of all; happiness forever.

What's up

This is our new puppy Dude. He's such a sweet dog!!

I can't believe how much I'm missing my family. The pain is almost unbearable at times. I'm putting on a brave face for the kids. I have to keep telling myself that mom is really gone. I don't think I knew how much I loved her until she was gone. I was always more worried about her being a good mother and not worried about being a good daughter. She knew I loved her but also knew how disappointed I was in her. None of that matters now. What matters now is my family and making them proud. I want to just curl up in a ball and hide from the world sometimes.

The kids had a wonderful Christmas. They of course got way too many presents. They are only young once though. We had our BFF's over on Christmas Eve and had a blast. On Christmas Day we went to dinner at Matt's Mother's house. I had a few meltdowns along the way and I'm still here.

Jayden

I have a bunch of pictures from out trip to Indiana but I'm not feeling like posting all of them. I'll call this the Savannah favorites. I asked her what her favorite part was of our trip. She said watching the snow and playing with Jayden. Jayden is the youngest of the Lloyd kids, he turned 4 last October. He and Nana really hit it off and they played non-stop when they were together. This a Jayden with his blue eyes and huge dimple. I just love him to pieces.

the snow
she loved the snow

and spent lots of time doing this

I found these two ladybugs in the stairwell at LeiAnne's house

I am missing my Mom more everyday. I just can't believe that she's really gone. We are all missing Pepperoni too. We are looking for another dog to keep Hummer company.

I got a call Friday from the funeral home that took care of my mom. They had Mom's death certificate from the health dept. and wanted to let me know that they were sending it here. It just make it seem more real and I had a little breakdown. The people that took care of Mom were absolutely amazing and so awesome. We were getting the city to pay for her cremation and we didn't have a public service. They treated us as if we were spending millions.

what next?

I thought I should update with how were doing. I'm staying very busy so I don't have too much time to think. I miss my mom, my grandma and my Pepperoni. I still can't believe that they are all gone. I do believe that I will be reunited with them one day, and that's what keeps me going. I've never felt this kind of pain, just deep down hurt, and it stinks. This is going to take some time to learn how to live without these women. My mom would drive me crazy but she was always only a phone call away. And grandma would drop everything for me and did quite a few times.
I can't really say that I'm okay. I don't know how anyone could be okay after dealing with such loss. I do know that I will be okay one day. For now I'm trying to live a life without two very special women. I'm really missing my sleeping buddy Pepperoni. We got the sweetest card from our Vet telling us that her thoughts and prayers were with us. I took some brownies and cookies to the office today. It was hard to get out the words for me and the receptionist. We were both holding back the tears.
I'm going to take a few days off from the Blogger world. I'm trying to focus on the family and having the best Christmas possible for the kids. Thank you all so much for caring so much for myself and my family. It's your thoughts and prayers that get me through the tough times.

Missing

Hummer on the left, Pepperoni on right

Pepperoni loved buckets & ball
right after we brought Pepperoni home

Savannah & Pepperoni

so sweet

Uncle Duane, Grandma & Mom

Mom trying to get Josh in the picture

Luke & Grandma

Mom when she was a baby

Mom & Luke in the alley

Mom & the kiddo's

Austin & Grandma

Mom on Christmas morning @ our house

I just wanted to post some pictures. I'm missing her and Pepperoni.

Are you kidding me?

We are headed home to sunny Florida as I type. We were able to see some snow yesterday and the kids loved it. They just sat and looked out the window forever. The little service for my Mom turned out to be so much fun. We had close to 30 people there and so much food. We ate, laughed and there were a few tears shed. All the adults played pictonary and had a last. Mom would not want us to have a pitty party, she would want us to have a good time. It was really nice to get to visit with friends and family.

Well we made it through all of that and got some more bad news yesterday. Our dog Pepperoni was dragging his hind legs and acting starnge. Our nephew took him to the vet. We aren't sure how but he some how shattered a disc and was paralized in his hind legs. Our only options were surgery and having him put down. Our vet wasn't even sure if she could help. So we had to have him put down yesterday. We are completly devistaed. Our dogs are our furry kids. What really sucks is that we didn't get to say good-bye. We do know that he was very well taken care of and gots plenty of love. Poor Hummer is an only dog again.

I took tons of pictures that I will be sharing soon.

Thanks for all your prayers!

It is so cold here!

Greetings from Anderson Indiana. We are here and wow is it cold. The snow melted before we got here so the kids are really hoping that it will snow tonight. The forecast calls for flurries tonight. I could do without the snow.
I'm so glad we came up. My brother is in no shape to help with any of the arrangements. Matt my cousin Lei Anne and I went to the funeral home yesterday to get that taken care of. The county trustee is paying for the cremation so we won't have to worry about that. I met with the trustee this morning. We have decided to honor my Mom this evening at LeiAnne's house. I'm not interested in doing anything with her so called friends. Tonight will be family. My brother has been heavily medicated and not able to help. I'm worried that he will overdose like my mom. I spoke to the corner yesterday and he is pretty sure that it was an accident overdose. They found empty bottles and she had just been to the doctor. The corner said that her it would take a couple weeks to get the result's back from the blood that was taken.
I'm hangin in there and staying busy. I've had so much to do that I haven't had much time to have pity parties. My grandma's house is a mess. Duane isn't into cleaning. It was not any fun to be in that house. I did find a letter that she was writing to Savannah in a notebook. It was really sweet and Nana loves it. My Mom was a real pain but she loved my kids. They were her life, well them and Jeff Gordon. Her room is covered with Jeff Gordon and pictures of my kids. I'm going to bring some home.
The kids are having a blast playing with their cousins. They stayed all night at LeiAnne's house last night. They are brave to have our 3 and their 4 kids all night. We went to visit my Nana (my dad's mom) this afternoon. It was great to see her and my 1/2 brother Mikey.
We need to head over to LeiAnne's now. Mom's obituary was in the paper today. That's the only thing that we had to pay for. Here is a link if your interested.
http://www.legacy.com/heraldbulletin/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=121224205

Where is the World is Amy?

I want to thank everyone for your kind words and prayers. We are in Tennessee right now; it's raining and very gloomy. I'm not sure that I would say that I'm OK because I feel like a mess. I'm fighting to hold back the tears. They are way to hard to stop once they start falling. Matt is doing a wonderful job driving, I haven't had to drive at all. We drove to the north side of Atlanta last night and stay in a hotel. We should be in Anderson this evening.

I told Matt that I wanted to go back home and pretend this never happened. I would love to do that. It seems that there is already some drama going on with the family. My brother isn't real good with getting things done so I'll have a lot to do when I get to Anderson. I have no idea what to do. I do know that she wanted to be cremated. She was on Social Security disability and I'm hoping that they will pay for it. Mom didn't have any money and my brother doesn't work so I just don't know??

We are planning on having a small service at grandma's house with family and friends. I'll be bringing mom home because she LOVED Madeira Beach and the Gulf of Mexico. She will get her wish and be there forever. We play on having a party for her too.

I still can't believe that she is gone. I still can't believe that grandma is gone too. I do know that both of them are forever in paradise. They have both left a big piece of themselves in my heart. I will see them again.

I can't check my email right now but I will be checking my blog.

Thanks again guys, you are awesome friends.

Missing my Mom

My brother called yesterday evening to tell me that our Mom had passed away. She wasn't feeling well yesterday so she laid down to have nap. Duane was concerned that she was still sleeping so he went to check on her and she was already gone. I'm glad that she didn't suffer.
I keep thinking that it's just a bad dream and I'll wake up. How can both my Mom and Grandma die in four months? I was just telling Matt last week how much I miss Grandma. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I do have an amazing support system to get me through. The kids are doing OK and are looking forward to going to Indiana. We are leaving today to drive up.
Mom was only 55.

Grandma, Mom & I in July

If your local

If your local we would love for you to join us at the Santa Parade in downtown St.Pete on Saturday morning. We will be walking with Savannah's school, Garden Crest Christian Academy. They are building a float and we will have a "live" Nativity. The kids are wearing animal costumes, and Savannah will be a camel. It starts at 10 am and we are in position is 39.
Here are a couple of pictures I took at last years parade. I took the kids and they got tons of beads and candy. We were just spectators last year. I think it will be fun to be in it this year.

I love Sertoma!!

We are so grateful that we have the Sertoma Speech and Hearing Foundation of Florida. They have helped us so much with Luke. When I realized that my son needed hearings aides I was freaking out a bit. Our insurance doesn't pay anything for the aides. When I got that call yesterday it was amazing to know that we can do this. Our son will finally be able to hear everything all the time. One of the big ways that Sertoma is able to help families like ours is through this program:

Children's Hearing Help Fund Driver's License Check-Off Program
See what a difference $1.00 can make! When it's time to renew your Florida driver's license, don't forget to check the box for Children's Hearing Help Fund. Your dollar helps to pay for infant hearing screenings and the hearing aid loan bank for children. Early intervention and detection can minimize the effects of hearing loss on language development and save hundreds of thousands of dollars in special education expenses.

So if you live in Florida please consider donating a dollar the next time you need to renew you drivers license!!

http://www.familyhearinghelp.org/Home.asp

Early Christmas Blessing!!

Christmas has come early in the Nasworthy house!! I got a call today from Sertoma Speech and Hearing Foundation with some pretty exciting news!! This is the foundation that helps people with the purchase of hearing aides. Most insurance companies don't cover any of the cost of the aides like ours. We were looking at $4000 for Luke's. The awesome people at Sertoma are covering 70% and we also qualify for their special pricing!! Now we are looking at under $400!!! I felt a huge load off of my shoulders when I heard the news.
Thank you so much Sertoma!!!